How to Deal With Backstabbing Friends

1 11 2008

Came across this interesting topic while browsing online~!

By eHow Relationships & Family Editor

Rarely does one have the opportunity to go through life without encountering at least one backstabbing friend. These friends can be insidious, as they conduct their dirty deeds behind your back. When you discover the betrayal, you might be surprised, hurt and left wondering how to deal with this friend.

Instructions

Step 1

Confirm the misdeed with multiple friends. Communication distorts as it travels. A friend embellishes another’s eye rolling with imagined defamatory remarks.

Step 2
Allow the friend one opportunity to make an honest mistake. What seems to be a backstabbing incident may be an error in judgment. Tell your friend, “I’m sure you didn’t mean to be unkind, but I’d like to clarify what I heard.”
Step 3
Tailor the response to the offense. If a friend is pleasant to your face but insults your fashion sense around others, she may be struggling with insecurities. Offer your sympathy to your other friends and laugh it off.
Step 4
Take the high road. It’s tempting to respond to a rumor with equally nasty gossip about the offender. However, this lowers your credibility and status among your other friends, leaving them to wonder whom the snarky one really is.
Step 5
Give the silent treatment to your friend. Sometimes, power means not respponding at all. If you must interact frequently with this person at work or in class, be polite but cool. Denied the satisfaction of your reaction, the friend might back off.
Step 6
Reconsider the friendship. Friendships build on trust; wondering how your friend is going to trash you next unravels trust. When the pain outweighs the pleasure, it’s time to get out.
So lets trash those back stabbing friends before they trash us~! lolz

Actions

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4 responses

1 11 2008
Mr H.

For someone to backstab the other, there must be a reason for doing so. Why would a person betray do such a thing?? Monetary gain? Status/ peer recognition? Or is it he/ she feels threathen by the other party presence which makes him/ her more inferior?
One solution to resolve this conflict is to let both of them cool down for awhile and have a good talk. Understand what is the reason for doing such act. If the back stabber really treasure this relation and still want it, he/she will definitely feel guilty and try to make up for it. Listen to what he/she has to say and not jump to conclusion about it. Sometimes that person did it without his/ her own knowing. Let him/her know how he/she as hurt you and let him/her know what he/she has done wrong.
“To err is human”… let us forgive and forget and walk towards the path of Self Actualisation….

1 11 2008
kinberuri

Well Mr. H i do agree what you have mentioned. But hor…. referring to what u mention here…

“Sometimes that person did it without his/ her own knowing. Let him/her know how he/she as hurt you and let him/her know what he/she has done wrong.”

let me ask u something… we as a human….(unless this person is inhuman la~) have to think before we do. I believe all human beings out there have ups and downs in life. Of cos not everything goes on smoothly and bound to have obstacles in life. Every experiences will lead us to think first before action as we know that we have to face the consequences in the later part. But for the situation have…this particular person never hink before he/she do anything….leading to a very big commotions and of cos people who are involve are also affected badly in a way. Well, if you are to forgive this person so easily….Advantage will be taken….and history may repeat. So a little torture is needed i guess…. muhahaha

1 11 2008
Mr H.

well let’s just take it as an experience learn as move on…
No point keep clinging to the past. If you decided this person is not worth to be called as friend, just let it go.
But before you totally forget and delete him from your memory, thank the Lord… for He has given you another valuable lesson of Life…

1 11 2008
kinberuri

well, of cos if its a genuine valuable lesson of life…i will appreciate it very much but this is not…but a total nightmare. well, its makes another one in my position to understand how i exactly feel.
anyway, seriously i am not a person who really bear grudges and of cos i will not clinging to the past…just that i will become a person of few words when he/she is around…🙂

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