Its just like a horrible battle…. The emotional torture is really horrifying. Especially when all the things came clashing all at once. I became victim of certain things which i doesnt want to disclose it here and there are people who try to play victim and of cos try to get me into deeper trouble…. Wow! This is really a great challenge for me. Its even more exciting than the Amazing Race i guess. Cos the impact is so great and this may result in me giving up totally. I even come to the extend of deleting my whatsapp group with my cellgroup sisters and i missed out my triplet prayer that very Friday…..I simply couldnt control my tears at all and all i did was tearing non stop… Negative thoughts swam around in my head and occupied almost 90% of my head!
That very day, i missed my usual meals and ate very little for my usual heavy breakfast and smile weakly… At time, i smile and laugh but deep in me, i am flooded with my own tears…. I started asking myself…. Is my faith for GOD too weak thus the evil spirit could cast this big impact on me so badly. I start to question myself again and again. Decided to go out for a walk with my mom and my gal on Saturday. Bought some stuff for myself. *Smile. though i regret not buying something else…..!!!
Despite the foul mood i decided to log on to the Lighthouse website to listen to to Pastor Rony Tan live. Not only it enlightens me, i felt so good and decided that i really got to embrace myself up and FIGHT THIS BATTLE AS….
I DOESNT WANT TO BE LABELLED AS A LOSER! I WANT EVERYONE TO BE PROUD OF ME AND THAT INCLUDES LORD GOD, JESUS!
But of cos, i am really thankful to people who really care about me and have been praying for me…
Thank you all.