Battle

7 10 2012

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Its just like a horrible battle…. The emotional torture is really horrifying.  Especially when all the things came clashing all at once.  I became victim of certain things which i doesnt want to disclose it here and there are people who try to play victim and of cos try to get me into deeper trouble….   Wow! This is really a great challenge for me.  Its even more exciting than the Amazing Race i guess.  Cos the impact is so great and this may result in me giving up totally.  I even come to the extend of deleting my whatsapp group with my cellgroup sisters and i missed out my triplet prayer that very Friday…..I simply couldnt control my tears at all and all i did was tearing non stop… Negative thoughts swam around in my head and occupied almost 90% of my head!

That very day, i missed my usual meals and ate very little for my usual heavy breakfast and smile weakly… At time, i smile and laugh but deep in me, i am flooded with my own tears…. I started asking myself…. Is my faith for GOD too weak thus the evil spirit could cast this big impact on me so badly. I start to question myself again and again.  Decided to go out for a walk with my mom and my gal on Saturday.  Bought some stuff for myself.  *Smile.  though i regret not buying something else…..!!!

Despite the foul mood i decided to log on to the Lighthouse website to listen to to Pastor Rony Tan live.  Not only it enlightens me, i felt so good and decided that i really got to embrace myself up and FIGHT THIS BATTLE AS….

I DOESNT WANT TO BE LABELLED AS A LOSER! I WANT EVERYONE TO BE PROUD OF ME AND THAT INCLUDES LORD GOD, JESUS!

Amen!

But of cos, i am really thankful to people who really care about me and have been praying for me…

Thank you all.

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